Went to my favorite restaurant the other day. The waiter gave the satan horns sign to some customers. I decided not to eat there any more. He is a fool any ways. Too bad, I liked the food. Guys are such idiots, I can say that because I am a guy. There is no such thing as a free dinner though and I was hurting after that meal. I have to start cooking for myself.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
sore throat
Emma sees a square
lifting
up from despair
but the way is fraught
with tools
given
not bought
and flees the scene
for the mere.
Dream: Hanging out with nice girl who throws herbs on me that I have no idea what they do. Then this guy comes in picks up a table and starts rubbing it on his crotch demanding weed and booze.
I wake up and wonder what the hell that one meant. I do have to say that I do tend to beat off a bit much and it has led to my distancing myself from the world. I'm almost one month without smoking any bud. But I did have some drinks the other day and now I have a sore throat. It serves me right.
lifting
up from despair
but the way is fraught
with tools
given
not bought
and flees the scene
for the mere.
Dream: Hanging out with nice girl who throws herbs on me that I have no idea what they do. Then this guy comes in picks up a table and starts rubbing it on his crotch demanding weed and booze.
I wake up and wonder what the hell that one meant. I do have to say that I do tend to beat off a bit much and it has led to my distancing myself from the world. I'm almost one month without smoking any bud. But I did have some drinks the other day and now I have a sore throat. It serves me right.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Inspiration
"if eyes were make for seeing,
Then Beauty is its own excuse for being:"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is the light in your
eyes that is beautiful
your happiness is
mined as well
Wishing
The soft beauty of breath
The silent beauty of Death
Deferring.
Then Beauty is its own excuse for being:"
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is the light in your
eyes that is beautiful
your happiness is
mined as well
Wishing
The soft beauty of breath
The silent beauty of Death
Deferring.
Friday, September 16, 2011
9-16-11
I've got this rant in my head, but I could never repeat it word for word. It doesn't make me feel any better. I don't think that is what people want to hear. But I have to write something, if not only to excercise my fingers, to train them to move obediently. My demons have already had enough excercise.
I bought a t-shirt from some guy a long time ago. It had a drawing of a skull. The message underneath proclaimed 'Neanderthals are among us, even now'. That is so true. I might fit the bill, but my feet are too small. And my heart is too big.
-Poem in Progress-
Heaven Help ME
For Being a Sentimental
Sap
Oozing
From the Trees
Like Sticky Tears
Trapping the Flies
Come for a Taste
Hardening over Time
To Golden Amber
Preserving
Placed on a Shelf
In the cellar
to gather dust
trapped
in a new home.
I bought a t-shirt from some guy a long time ago. It had a drawing of a skull. The message underneath proclaimed 'Neanderthals are among us, even now'. That is so true. I might fit the bill, but my feet are too small. And my heart is too big.
-Poem in Progress-
Heaven Help ME
For Being a Sentimental
Sap
Oozing
From the Trees
Like Sticky Tears
Trapping the Flies
Come for a Taste
Hardening over Time
To Golden Amber
Preserving
Placed on a Shelf
In the cellar
to gather dust
trapped
in a new home.
Monday, September 12, 2011
fool moon
You with your lunar cycle
Turning, sand into the world
Burning to glass, rushing
And Tumbling, Hurrying
With Hare, ever Resourceful
Yearning.
Turning, sand into the world
Burning to glass, rushing
And Tumbling, Hurrying
With Hare, ever Resourceful
Yearning.
9-12-11
Depression is stasis. I don't feel like working (in or out). I feel like falling down the lonely left; loser that I am. If I feel this way after a round, then I will go and do what I feel is my calling.
I gave a stripper a 20 and she got mad at me. Perhaps she thought I wanted more than just to watch her dance. She did not realize that money means little to me. Perhaps I did want to get to know her. I think she called herself 'Destiny'. She worked out and had muscles. I thought she was attractive
The world rolls over me with a steam roller flattening me out. So cars can drive over me. I am impotent. My anger is an importance. I steals in and possesses me, then leaves. I am helpless. I am no savior; I am nobody.
To be or not to be..........If I am nothing, it is no crime to take my leave of this place, where fuck is dirty but kill is OK. will I stall further or else. It is fear that keeps me here.
I gave a stripper a 20 and she got mad at me. Perhaps she thought I wanted more than just to watch her dance. She did not realize that money means little to me. Perhaps I did want to get to know her. I think she called herself 'Destiny'. She worked out and had muscles. I thought she was attractive
The world rolls over me with a steam roller flattening me out. So cars can drive over me. I am impotent. My anger is an importance. I steals in and possesses me, then leaves. I am helpless. I am no savior; I am nobody.
To be or not to be..........If I am nothing, it is no crime to take my leave of this place, where fuck is dirty but kill is OK. will I stall further or else. It is fear that keeps me here.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Teachers
Mrs. O'Connor read a story to the second grade class: Tal- and his Adventures in Noom-Zar-Noom" by Paul Fenimore Cooper. (I found it in a library even though it is long out-of-print). She was a nice woman, quiet and soft spoken: one of my favorite teachers. Her husband was a science teacher, and we did neat things like grow alum crystals and one time he did a demonstration that got our attention. Corn starch when it is sitting in a pile is not very flammable, but blow on that pile in a can (through a rubber tube) with a candle inside a well, a you can get quite a big ball of flame.
The O'Connors ran a summer camp. We would make pot-holders, weave baskets, pound copper into ash trays (which I still have). They made a drink, which I loved, they called it Okies Punch (grape juice and ginger ale). I was so lucky to have known them: a wonderful couple of teachers.
The O'Connors ran a summer camp. We would make pot-holders, weave baskets, pound copper into ash trays (which I still have). They made a drink, which I loved, they called it Okies Punch (grape juice and ginger ale). I was so lucky to have known them: a wonderful couple of teachers.
Life Lesson #4
"prayer was not about manipulation to gain an advantage, under any circumstances, but rather a conversation within that led to insight." Peter Gwillim Kreitter
for Matt and Trey
Smug Smaug
Drifting Down
All around
Chalking
Me-------------------------
when I go out
Perhaps I take it all
Wrong
A Song with many voices
a Chorus
helps fill out the Song
Drifting Down
All around
Chalking
Me-------------------------
when I go out
Perhaps I take it all
Wrong
A Song with many voices
a Chorus
helps fill out the Song
From a Dream
Dot picked up in her home
Her friends swept out
one by one
Holding on, the house
miraculously is put
down in one piece
(Must be well made)
Her friends swept out
one by one
Holding on, the house
miraculously is put
down in one piece
(Must be well made)
Passport
The Serene Machine
Approaches A bed
Dream
Dressed in a Gown
Faint Glittering Lights
Red, Flowing Over
The Car Pet
Her Head Enclosed
By a Cloud of Stars
Curious
George A. Monkee
Bar Bell
Tale Less
Now.
Time to Water the Garden
before the Sun Getz any
Higher. It's going to be
a Scorcher, totally.
Approaches A bed
Dream
Dressed in a Gown
Faint Glittering Lights
Red, Flowing Over
The Car Pet
Her Head Enclosed
By a Cloud of Stars
Curious
George A. Monkee
Bar Bell
Tale Less
Now.
Time to Water the Garden
before the Sun Getz any
Higher. It's going to be
a Scorcher, totally.
Piano
Tickling the Joys
of Music,
Oscar
Sings with his
Fingers
A beautiful duet
Between Right and Left
With a Key board
Yielding to his Touch.
of Music,
Oscar
Sings with his
Fingers
A beautiful duet
Between Right and Left
With a Key board
Yielding to his Touch.
no title
Bene
Diction
a
r
A y
Map to the Stars
Meet half-way
At the Bar
I'll have a Stripper
with a Twist of Limey
Erth a
Kitt
A singer not a S
O
N
G
Diction
a
r
A y
Map to the Stars
Meet half-way
At the Bar
I'll have a Stripper
with a Twist of Limey
Erth a
Kitt
A singer not a S
O
N
G
Siblings and such
You dropped my
Drag on
Even after I
Advised Caution
I was so Proud
of it;
I tore you a New One.
Climbing the Tree
in Loafers,
I fell
Fracturing my Arm
The Green Stick Kind.
Playing Tennis with You
in Your Whites
I loved to make You
Run with my Lefty Spin
Arms and legs outstretched
in a Beautiful Dance
Later in the Shadow of
Your Parents hope
I let the moment slip
By, With you in your
wet suit and the
Windows Watching
And your Mother
Ran Around
Pulling the Hose
From the Pool
lest any one see
Her Crime
**********
Pardon the Time
Drag on
Even after I
Advised Caution
I was so Proud
of it;
I tore you a New One.
Climbing the Tree
in Loafers,
I fell
Fracturing my Arm
The Green Stick Kind.
Playing Tennis with You
in Your Whites
I loved to make You
Run with my Lefty Spin
Arms and legs outstretched
in a Beautiful Dance
Later in the Shadow of
Your Parents hope
I let the moment slip
By, With you in your
wet suit and the
Windows Watching
And your Mother
Ran Around
Pulling the Hose
From the Pool
lest any one see
Her Crime
**********
Pardon the Time
Trace-E
Fate put you there-
The woman behind
The Window
I bought you a glass
of liquid fire
And one for myself
As well,
Down the Hatch
Into a new
Dream
Connection
Uplift
u
r
n down the Covers
The Blindness
I Fearfully
Wear
On
ly for you
This one dance in
John Barley Corn Pot we trust
The woman behind
The Window
I bought you a glass
of liquid fire
And one for myself
As well,
Down the Hatch
Into a new
Dream
Connection
Uplift
u
r
n down the Covers
The Blindness
I Fearfully
Wear
On
ly for you
This one dance in
John Barley Corn Pot we trust
Raph'
was a beautiful
Cat, Black
And he would
wake me every
morning to Pee
and look for his
lost Siamese Friend,
and perhaps to Wake
A Sleepyhead
He would meow
ever morn at
6:30 never fail.
But rage caught/found
me unaware again
and I threw him down
to the ground
breaking his back
Guilt and Fear
Had won
I was helpless
until I hit bottom
In my
Birthday
Suit
singing lustfully:
Mama Mia
Pappa Pia Que
Sadia around
my Land- This
raising and lowering
a bamboo
Pole.
I got to Alberta
and I smartly
pivoted turning right
and continuing
my March
Around this big
E-Village
when the
cop car pulled up
I stopped feeling,
the warm pavement
at my feet
Grabbed Hold,
Guess I took
the Wrong turn
in Albequeque
Duh'
O (like Homer)
Cat, Black
And he would
wake me every
morning to Pee
and look for his
lost Siamese Friend,
and perhaps to Wake
A Sleepyhead
He would meow
ever morn at
6:30 never fail.
But rage caught/found
me unaware again
and I threw him down
to the ground
breaking his back
Guilt and Fear
Had won
I was helpless
until I hit bottom
In my
Birthday
Suit
singing lustfully:
Mama Mia
Pappa Pia Que
Sadia around
my Land- This
raising and lowering
a bamboo
Pole.
I got to Alberta
and I smartly
pivoted turning right
and continuing
my March
Around this big
E-Village
when the
cop car pulled up
I stopped feeling,
the warm pavement
at my feet
Grabbed Hold,
Guess I took
the Wrong turn
in Albequeque
Duh'
O (like Homer)
Dizzy-like
France is
My Aged Wine
That saves my
Heart (Butt) (Ass)
Right from the Start
If I don't
do it we
all just might
as well fart
My Aged Wine
That saves my
Heart (Butt) (Ass)
Right from the Start
If I don't
do it we
all just might
as well fart
no title
Looking at her
Smile lines
Her patience
Rewarded
Twin canyons
Flowing From
Cheeky Prominence
Smile lines
Her patience
Rewarded
Twin canyons
Flowing From
Cheeky Prominence
no title
Satan Thrown Down
Shattering of Ground,
Pepper a Sneeze
from God; life's
Casual ease,
Murdering of Yertel.
A tortoise Crawling
From Competition, One
To Expire Under the Sun.
H2O4 Evaporate, then
Explode
But not Done!
Shattering of Ground,
Pepper a Sneeze
from God; life's
Casual ease,
Murdering of Yertel.
A tortoise Crawling
From Competition, One
To Expire Under the Sun.
H2O4 Evaporate, then
Explode
But not Done!
no title
three is a trinity
it makes my heart beat faster,
it makes life last longer
on trips fasting, longer than
My loves worth keepin'
A fashion I'm making,
For those left,
souls
I'm takin'
it makes my heart beat faster,
it makes life last longer
on trips fasting, longer than
My loves worth keepin'
A fashion I'm making,
For those left,
souls
I'm takin'
666
seven already satan
a stuttering booyah
security of the flesh
recruits for the holy
war on the garden
untended, an evil
befriended, a willing
companion, Death's
Productive Colostamy
Removed to
Curchill
a stuttering booyah
security of the flesh
recruits for the holy
war on the garden
untended, an evil
befriended, a willing
companion, Death's
Productive Colostamy
Removed to
Curchill
Friday, September 9, 2011
third cummings
Hey Sharon
-Here are warmest wishes-
Boo you
live in 'Frisco'
infect me with your love
my friend fears the
dirty word
I fear the dirty water
flowing from the Nile
to Lake Charles
a shallow lake no doubt
living with his mother
shaded, drawn against
the light, cats roaming
about the smell of piss
in the air, and your small
library of books, paperbound
up in drugs prescribed by
lazy doctors washing their
hands like Pilate
Sweat stinking
killed by medication
St. Charles
in my book-what a
hell! Even your
brother cannot save you with his camera
following behind
recorders of a
train wreck in slow
motion a post
script
gone to France
but there is no escape
"I'll have a royalle with cheese"
with that.
-pomme de terre-
-Here are warmest wishes-
Boo you
live in 'Frisco'
infect me with your love
my friend fears the
dirty word
I fear the dirty water
flowing from the Nile
to Lake Charles
a shallow lake no doubt
living with his mother
shaded, drawn against
the light, cats roaming
about the smell of piss
in the air, and your small
library of books, paperbound
up in drugs prescribed by
lazy doctors washing their
hands like Pilate
Sweat stinking
killed by medication
St. Charles
in my book-what a
hell! Even your
brother cannot save you with his camera
following behind
recorders of a
train wreck in slow
motion a post
script
gone to France
but there is no escape
"I'll have a royalle with cheese"
with that.
-pomme de terre-
Thursday, September 8, 2011
no title
If we are going to survive, we have to produce a united front and hold the line throughout all of time. No-one is too small or too large.
Marge is charge.
Marge is charge.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Methodology
Singletons were selected.
I let my fingers do the walking.
Songs progress in order
1,2,3,4 etc.
Random is Gumption.
The meaning is found in practice Gloaming,
till laughter
Seeming at ridiculous,
Nessy sticks her head up for a look.
Laswell left out because his songs are too long.
What am I?
I let my fingers do the walking.
Songs progress in order
1,2,3,4 etc.
Random is Gumption.
The meaning is found in practice Gloaming,
till laughter
Seeming at ridiculous,
Nessy sticks her head up for a look.
Laswell left out because his songs are too long.
What am I?
Monday, September 5, 2011
where ever it goes
I was reading some Alice Walker tonight ('The Old Artist') and she mentions that Alcoholism in Mr. Sweet's (a blues guitar player) case, was a "slow method of suicide". And I thought to myself, here is someone who thinks like me. Unfortunately, drinking oneself to death is not a very graceful way to go. I had about four ounces of Makers Mark the other night in honor of my mother's birthday, and was given the drunk test before I left the party (passed with flying colors). I guess I have a genetic predisposition for booze. I woke up the next morning feeling just a little groggy. The funeral service for my lost brain cells will be held on Tuesday.
Alice ends her essay with a story about how a girl friend of hers from college sent in a piece to Langston Hughes who "loved it immediately". He was another Mr. Sweet: a survivor. I guess I am a survivor too. My sister thinks I should sent some of my poetry in to Sharon Olds (a big influence), even though I know my brain droppings couldn't hold a candle to Robert Frost (he is so wise). I am learning though and as long as can still pull air into these blackened lungs, I will keep trying.
Alice ends her essay with a story about how a girl friend of hers from college sent in a piece to Langston Hughes who "loved it immediately". He was another Mr. Sweet: a survivor. I guess I am a survivor too. My sister thinks I should sent some of my poetry in to Sharon Olds (a big influence), even though I know my brain droppings couldn't hold a candle to Robert Frost (he is so wise). I am learning though and as long as can still pull air into these blackened lungs, I will keep trying.
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